MATURITY: A PATHWAY TO GREAT HEALTH

MATURITY

Introduction

Maturity means full development. Maturation refers to physical growth and development. An apostle in discussing the expected maturation of the early church used the illustration of the physical human development as an example. He said, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child: now that I am become a man, I have put away childish things.” (1 Cor. 13.11. RV) This is comparing a state of immaturity with a state of complete -perfect or full development (maturity). The childish (immature) state is largely characterized by underdevelopment of the various abilities: locomotion, sight, abstraction, speech and language, reproduction etc. Paul also referred to this stage in spiritual life as the state of being a novice –GK ‘neofuto~’ ‘neophutos’ (1 Tim. 3.6). Physically, maturity may come in some aspects of life while we are immature in others. There is chronological maturity which does not translate to mental maturity hence the adage “a fool at 40 is a fool forever.”  The Hebrew writer refers to such a state when he said that when Hebrew Christians by reason of their age in Christ ought to be teachers –matured, they were still looking for milk of the word! (Heb. 5.12)

Maturity requires we move from dependence ­­­­----- dependence ---- Interdependence The new child is very dependent on the parents for survival. By the teenage years the child is eagerly looking forward to his independence from authority, supervision, commands, and from home. At the young adult stage the young individual hopes to be truly independent, free to obey no one but himself while getting ready to marry. Maturity involves making the transition from independence to interdependence as we come to realize that life is not about us but about God and what he wants us to do for one another.

Requirements

• Physical as well as spiritual maturity needs time to actualize.  For example a child repeatedly in trying to acquire the skill of walking, falls and tries yet again until he perfects the act/ develops the skill. Time is needed to perfect his act and is therefore an essential ingredient of the acquisition of this basic aspect of maturation.  The writer of Hebrews observes that “For when by reason of the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need again that someone teach you the rudiments of the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of solid food. (Heb. 5.12). It is therefore established that maturity needs time.  Problems come when after a physical fall, a child gets so discouraged that he becomes fixated on the stage he is trying to progress from and he stays in that stage without further efforts. Sometimes the failure experience is so bad (traumatic) that the child regresses to an earlier stage.   Many Christians too may stop growing towards maturity mainly because they encounter difficulties (which coincidentally are designed to help them grow). The other factor involved in time is the readiness that precedes learning of certain skills. It is observed in young children that when children are exposed to certain learning experiences before they are physically matured for that experience, they do not succeed. One must therefore be ready for a particular stage of development before he can benefit from the exposure to the training.  Jesus said that there were many things he wanted to tell the apostles but they were not ready at that time. (John 16.12) Maturation training that begins too early will not succeed but training that begins when one is ‘maturationally’ ready produces rapid growth and development. In other words, if an individual is not ready to grow by the virtue of: poor attitudes (for instance lack of willingness to drop selfish childish ways), lack of faith in God and His words (1 Cor. 2.14), love of the praise of men more than the praise of God (John 5.44), etc., then maturity will take almost forever for him.
• Maturity is also affected by the environment one grows in.  There is a critical stage in the life of organisms that affect their maturing process.  The influences at the early stages of development can have a lasting effect (both positive and negative) on the development of an individual.  Churches that are warm and accepting with a lot of fellowship always have a lasting positive influence on the maturation of new members than churches that are cold, formal and with a lot of bickering and strife.
• Maturity depends on the totality of the experiences that informs it. If one has a mentor or an older matured person to imitate, then maturation becomes possible faster and surer.  Jesus mentored his disciples provided opportunities for them to mature under His guidance. (John 17.12, 19) He will do so today if we also follow His words and guidance.  In a church where there are older members who are immature without recognizing and accepting it, a lot of unwise decisions that will be inimical to the body will be taken.  Many times the body will be polarized and divided along personality groupings. The Corinthian congregation was infantile in thinking and behavior “And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, as unto babes in Christ. I fed you with milk, not with meat; for ye were not yet able to bear it: nay, not even now are ye able; for ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you jealousy and strife, are ye not carnal, and walk after the manner of men?” (1 Cor. 3.1-3) and were therefore taking unwise decisions. Paul tried to help them overcome infantilism and mature by his epistle to them. By our fruit men shall know us. If the congregation is characterized by strife, jealousy, quarrelling, etc., it is not a matured church.  Members are still immature. Paul said to Corinthians that a matter that one least esteemed in the congregation can solve spiritually, the so called older brethren messed it up because they were so carnal! Many congregations have conflicts and other problems that they allow to degenerate into carnal situations. These situations show lack of proper spiritual maturity in the church. One aspect of maturity is accepting the facts staring us in the face and then resolving to go Jesus’ way to work out the issue.
• Maturity is enhanced when the disciple of Christ decides to renounce self “So therefore whosoever he be of you that renounces not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14.33) Jesus was talking about the utter impossibility of trying to mature in Christ without dropping the ‘sack’ of self and childish ways. To illustrate, a baby is naturally infa-centric as he is at the center of his universe.  Everybody exists to cater to his needs.  If he doesn’t get what he wants he yells and sometimes throws a tantrum to get the attention he believes he deserves. This is how a child is expected to behave.  An adult on the other hand who hasn’t dropped this tendency will be a problem to both himself and all around him. He is described as ego-centric. In this immature state the individual believes that his spouse, neighbours, employer, employees, friends, and family exist to serve his interest. He is at the center of his world.  Churches with this type of individual suffer a lot because they see the church as an entity that exists to serve their interest.  They therefore complain that the church is not doing enough for them, has not helped them enough in their self-inflicted trouble, and generally have what might be described as ‘give me’ disease.  It may not cross their minds to say ‘what can I do for my congregation’ instead of saying ‘what can my congregation do for me.’  This individual is self-dominated, self-enslaved, and believes (like Diotrephes) that:
•  all things must and can be done according to his will
•  he is always right and never wrong
•  he is number one –instead of God!

This type of individual finds it hard to listen to others. He refuses opinions that are different from his own.  He compares himself with others and feels that he is better than those he is ‘materially’ (-education, money, physical attributes, social standing etc) more endowed.  He finds it difficult to acknowledge his mistakes. He manipulates others in order to get his way. He goes behind and back bites those he wants defeated and plants seeds of disunity generally while pretending to be upholding general good.

An adult that is spiritually matured or is maturing in Christ however is theo-centric (God-centric). He believes that God has created him to be a servant like Jesus himself. Paul learned to become mature in Christ by surrendering to Christ’s guidance. He said “I have been crucified with Christ, and I live; yet no longer I, but Christ lives in me. And that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith toward the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself on my behalf” (MKJV Gal 2.20) He later said that the troubled Corinthians should imitate him as he is an imitator of Christ.

Being matured implies that:

a.   We exhibit self-control or spirit-controlled lives -even in situations that are very vexing.  We learn to react like glass to water thrown against it rather than like sponge that soaks the water thrown at it changing its own constitution.  We are proactive and not reactive. We base our behavior and process our thinking on the basis of the principles learned from the scriptures and not on ‘how we feel’, or ‘what is advantageous’ or ‘what seems right’ “ We are able to control anger. There is a way that seems right ….”The wise man says, ‘Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths’ Prov. 3.5, 6.  Paul, in pains and in prison, learned about those who were making things more physically and socially difficult for him. His matured reaction was that though they, in their immaturity, were hurting him, he focused on the good they were doing -preaching the gospel, thereby keeping his emotions in control. (Phil. 1. 15-18). Self must be denied, crucified, and disowned if we will truly grow up in Christ.

b.   In the church, many times we compete against one another instead of working together.  Maturity is that state in which we realize that the enemy is Satan and we need to work together against him.  Joe Beam in his book Seeing the Unseen says

“Sometimes I picture Jesus sitting in heaven –chin in hand, as He leans on the arm of His throne-watching His followers war against each other. Long past frustration, He just waits, knowing that someday one of us will look up. When one day a Christian warrior, stooping to wipe the blood (of his brothers) from his eyes, looks toward heaven, He stands up and signals. Pointing and gesturing, He calls that warrior’s attention to something just beyond the dust of our battle with each other. When the warrior turns to see what Jesus is pointing at, he notices Satan and his army, slaughtering the people of the earth, undeterred, no longer even looking to see if we’re coming against them.  In my mind, I see this Christian warrior snapping a sharp salute, nodding his head to communicate his understanding of what Jesus wants, then rejoining the battle to kill his brothers.  He’ll get to Satan’s army, just as soon as he wins the battle within the church. (P. 197)

Conclusion

Self is our greatest enemy in attaining the maturity in Christ.  It is the source of all that is wrong with us (James 4.1-3). This is why Jesus did not mince words in telling us what to do with self! (Luke 14.26ff) To mature in Christ is to painfully admit that we are:

 Limited; sometimes right and sometimes wrong; able to help others, but also need others’ help; under God’s authority; sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding etc.  We must have answered the question ‘who is number one? Shall I remain ‘number one’ or abdicate the throne of my life to He who is really “Number One” The answer to that question will determine the position one attains regarding maturity in Christ.

Abiodun Adegoroye serves as a preacher @ Kado church.

adegoroyeabiodun@yahoo.co.uk.

A NEW YEAR'S EXPERIENCE WITH GOD

Beloved, I wish you all a blessed and contagiously successful 2011.My experiences on my trip from Warri to Jos, Plateau State Nigeria yesterday taught me a deeper and richer meaning of Psalm 127.1^b“...If the LORD does not protect a city, it is useless for the guard to stay alert.”

My family and I began the journey from Warri with the traditional prayer –“Please Lord protect us on this trip in Jesus’ name, Amen!” The adventure began when I missed the turn off from Benin dual carriage express road into Auchi bye-pass. Suddenly we found ourselves zooming fast towards Lagos. We had the good sense to ask before we had gone 5 kilometers. We turned back and the only opening unto the right road had 'Local Government Council' poachers who forcibly stopped us and demanded a –you guessed it- horrible amount of money to free ourselves from their clutches (N30, 000.00). We were charged with violating 'emission' permit, sewage permit, radio and TV permit (coincidentally, my car radio is been bad for about six months) and some others permits! In the end, after more than 50 minutes delay and a submission of all the money I kept for the journey (plus bro Ebenezer's N1, 000.00) we were released to finally begin the adventure. The journey through Okene, Lokoja and Abaji were smooth except for another 30 minutes delay at Lokoja. We decided not to stop and sleep at Abuja (as I told one of my Bishops, Elder Agbogun, that I wish to sleep on my bed in Jos city) but proceeded through Nassarawa State –Toto, Keffi. The road was bad and we had a couple of 'flying trips' –hitting potholes and launching into space- and also battles to control the car after 'landing.' We ran into a deep one 4 kilometers to Keffi and I lost a tyre. We crawled slowly and forward unto the side of the road to survey the damage and to put scattered car parts back into their slots when suddenly a small Jeep, CRV or so, ran into the same trench with a loud noise and emerged only to slam into a biker and his passenger who were unfortunately trying to cross the road. The two on the bike were killed instantly and we were faced with a vehicle that has lost control, madly rushing towards where we were packed! I stood transfixed with hands outstretched making motions as if to stop the jeep from hitting our packed car with a sinking feeling in my heart that I was witnessing a horrible dual accident in the making! By the special grace and protection of God, the driver managed to stop the car an inch from ours and feeling so relieved, I almost collapsed.  I quickly drove the car away from that spot even with the bad tyre to avoid more problems. After changing tyre, we moved on for another 90 kilometers and our spare tyre started 'dancing.'  I stopped twice to check was wrong with the tyre.  Two cars passed us and 2 minutes later just before a railway crossing between Keffi and Gidan Waya we saw a car stopped and armed men looking like Police officers surrounded it dragging occupants out unto the road, brandishing rifles. My wife said they were armed robbers so I stopped and focused my lights on them. One of the car's occupants escaped into the bush and ran towards us. He did not even make any attempts to come near us but was bent on getting away as far as possible from the scene. Then there was a shot as the armed men shot at us probably to tell me to put off my lights.  Another car passed us and was stopped and immediately put off its lights. Simultaneously, a bus from the opposite side of the road stopped on seeing the robbery and started reversing also. Then it dawned on me affirmatively that we are witnessing a robbery and we were fortunate to be able to turn and run. We did turn and zoomed away warning all approaching vehicles. The occupants of one bus that we warned later told us that they were chased by the robbers when they also turned around. We were overtaken by the bus on a terrible high speed as they were trying to get away.  We shakily stopped at the next big town –Barde, which is about 25 kilometers away from the scene and slept in the car till this morning when we resumed our journey to Jos.

During the long night in the car, I was reflecting on the Psalm. What made my tyre to go bad when it did?  The sudden dance of the tyre made me stop and become a witness to a robbery instead of being the victim!  Did an angel give the old tyre a kick?  We were heading for a trap but God who watches over us stopped us before we got there.  Unless the Lord was watching out for us, the trip would have been a disaster several times.

Well, the year is starting nicely with God in control as usual.  As Melonie Hames Pack nicely quoted Corrie Ten Boom on Face Book, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God," we need to depend more this year on God's protection and guidance.

Have a great 2011.

Love Responsibilities of Husbands as designed by God

Introduction

All the creative acts of God at the beginning were good and they functioned perfectly. Marriage is a designed creation of God and like human beings, and all other creative acts of God, was created good and faultless. The fall of man changed all that and since that time the relationship between humans and God and between man and his woman has not been what God intended (cf Matt. 10.5). Christians are enjoined to go back to the pattern of sound teachings from God and use them for liberation from this world's enslaving mindset and decadence especially in marriage (cf John 8.32). Forces working against marriage include selfishness; lack of love; unwillingness to forgive; anger and bitterness; communication difficulties; anxiety and jealousy; poor sexual skills and abuse; religious values incompatibilities; drunkenness; sinful social mindsets and attitudes; financial problems; etc. This presentation aims at taking us back to marriage as ordained by God especially as pertaining to the responsibilities of husbands in marriage.

HEADSHIP RESPONSIBILITY

In the home, the husband is to be the “head,” and the wife is to be in “subjection” (Ephesians 5:22ff). "Head" (Greek –kephale) can be literal as in the case of John the Baptist's head in Mark 6.24, and it can also be used metaphorically as in this case to indicate ‘rank’ or responsibility. Man is the head of woman. In 1 Corinthians 11:2ff, God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of every man, and man is the head of woman. This puts women at the subordinate level or lesser/assistant's role. Jesus, by means of the incarnation, subordinated himself to the Father (Philippians 2:5-8). This does not imply that Christ is inferior to the Father. The woman is not inferior to the man (but is created differently). What is then the meaning and practice of headship for a Christian man? The New Testament commands that man should be like Christ in his headship (Ephesians 5:25ff).

There is however a woman's right to exert some authority even in the home. In one of his letters to Timothy, Paul declares that woman is to “rule the household” (1 Timothy 5:14). Wayne Jackson observes

“Almost surprisingly, Paul contends that the woman is to "rule the household." The term "rule" (oikodespotein – present tense; standard procedure) is a fairly strong word. It signifies to be the ‘master’ of a house, to "rule" a household, "manage" family affairs (Thayer, p. 439). The passage cannot be employed, of course, to cancel the role relationship taught elsewhere (e.g., Ephesians 5:22ff), but it does recognize that women have domestic skills that men do not possess. The wise husband will recognize this and cooperate with his wife, the result being a contented home.”[1]

‘It goes without saying, of course, that man's headship over woman is never a license for him to be rude or abusive to her. The right to be the house keeper does not also give the woman the license to domineer the man. The “golden rule” applies to all social relationships.’

Consider for instance that this authority/submission relationship also exists between an eldership and the flock they direct. We can learn a lesson from this example. If Elders are not to be tyrants, self-willed, or corrupt (1 Peter 5.l-4), then similarly, a husband listens to his wife, seeks to please her, and seeks to provide a godly family atmosphere rather than being a tyrant, bully, or acting as a superior being. By simply accepting the responsibility of leadership that accompanies the marriage relationship, the man ensures that the wife's worth is not discredited. As earlier stated, she is to be honored and cherished for her very vital role. Submission is not inferiority; it is simply accepting a role or responsibility.

LOVE RESPONSIBILITY

There is a love that under-girds the headship of man. This is the love that propels a man to die for his wife. Some husbands are bitter against their wives and do not realize that their headship is based upon the law of love. It is not difficult for a wife to submit herself to a husband who loves her "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it" (Ephesians 5:25) and who loves his wife "as their own bodies" (Ephesians 5:28). The central issue in loving a wife is the mode. If there is anything the man knows that will make his wife happy, and he does it, then he will be fulfilling this responsibility. If he fails either through laziness, selfishness, or willful refusal to love, then he neither loves himself nor his wife.. A husband must however make himself worthy of the trust of his wife. Lack of trust hinders the performance of love. If a man does not trust his wife he may not be able to love her. He will always misunderstand or misinterpret the words and actions of his wife. If a man finds himself becoming jealous of his wife, he needs to verbalize (talk openly about) his feelings/jealousy. If counseling is needed, it should be sort before it wrecks havoc on the relationship.

WORSHIP RESPONSIBILITY

Several passages talk about the man's role to worship God with his family. Headship of the man in this area cannot be delegated to the wife. Wives are simply not authorized to be head! An Elder in the church cannot tell his wife to attend the Elders' meeting on his behalf as a delegate! The man is to lead in prayers and devotion at home setting a good example of love for God and His word/work. James Moffett observes that there is not anything we need more in our homes than prayers and that husbands need to lead the way in this practice. He suggested that the man should kneel beside his bed regularly, holding his wife and praying.

According to him, “this is not "light devotional" advice. It is foundational spiritual instruction from the Word of God.”[2] A man must set a good spiritual example if his family will respect him and take God serious. How will a wife ask the husband religious questions at home, when he neither knows nor read the Bible? (1 Cr. 14.33-35)

It has been suggested that the family should share together as many things as they can especially devotions, in order to build understanding, love, respect, and togetherness.[3] Again, if a man is to manage his family with regards to God's will, he will assume the responsibility of the spiritual education of his family. In the light of Ephesians 6:4 (ESV) “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” and 1 Corinthians 14:35 (ESV) “If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church” it is apparent that religious teachings and evangelism of the family starts at home and is the responsibility of the man. This is probably the most important function or responsibility of husbands.

DOMESTIC RESPONSIBILITY

The domestic responsibility of the husband includes disciplining children or keeping children submissive; protecting the family especially the children from external corruption and internal decay. Regimenting the life of children to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord cannot be done by proxy. Delegation will not work. In Deuteronomy 11:19 “And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (cf Deut. 6.7). This cannot work if the parents are never around to lead, work or walk with their children. A nanny cannot model a father figure for a child. In the New Testament Paul says concerning the responsibility of a man who is an elder in the church, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive” (1 Timothy 3.4, cf. Titus 1.6). As head of the household, the husband has certain clearly defined responsibilities besides his general responsibility for the whole family. He has the responsibility of seeing that the physical needs of his family are met (1 Timothy 5.8). Imagine a woman who works in the Bank. She leaves home very early and comes back late at night, tired. On getting home she proceeds to the kitchen to cook for the family. It appears unfair if both husband and wife go out to get income for the family and only the woman will do the domestic work when both arrive home from work. The traditional setting has given way to the realities of modern lifestyles. If however the woman is a homemaker only, that division of labour works –the husband works to bring income from outside, while the lady exerts energy to keep the home warm, sweet, comfortable, clean and organized.

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

In traditional societies, man was the major financial provider and most of the financial burden fell on his shoulders. After the advent of the world wars in Europe and America, women, who were left behind to man the homes and businesses, got liberated and became major bread winners as well. In our contemporary and rapidly urbanizing culture, women work as hard as men in the world of work earning sometimes more than their male counterparts. How will a man cope with a wife who earns more than he does? Who holds the money and who takes the decisions on how the money should be spent? Lack of financial integrity has destroyed many marriages and the man should therefore look at God's plan for financial integrity. The model of leadership of the man if tailored after Jesus' style will ensure openness about money. Since the two have become one flesh, the need for secrecy, fear, and hoarding concerning earnings and incomes is rendered unacceptable and sinful. Financial oneness nullifies each one for him/herself. Part of what Peter said is that a man should honour his wife. 1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

When a husband brings his income to the table and plans with his wife on how to use what God has given them, he not only honours God who gave but honours the wife who submits to him. Financial openness is therefore the man's responsibility. Some because of lack of respect for their wives, and fear that wives may become nosy about how the men spend and thus control their spending will not even tell their wives of investments they have embarked upon. When they suddenly die, the money goes to other people instead of to the family. The man must therefore trust his wife. He must demonstrate respect for her, his loving partner. One of the thorniest issues in marriage is finance. Many cases of irreconcilable conflicts between husband and wife stem from this dimension of marriage. Many will not even contemplate marriage with a woman who earns more than them. They feel she would not be submissive to them. The same can probably said about education. Many men will not marry a woman more educated than them for fear that she would look down on them. A woman whose husband had been having conflict with her over her keeping her salary decided to give the husband the money one month. The man promptly spent the whole money without neither regard for the woman nor even an explanation. She felt so cheated. From that time on the man had dug the pit of the destruction of his marriage. She refused to give subsequent salaries to him and this further embittered the husband until the woman whose income became more than the husband built a house and moved out of her matrimonial home. She claimed that the husband does not love her. Solution? Let the man respect the will of God and allow his wife who may be blessed like the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 to be free to invest and bring wealth to his home, blessing him with the proceeds of her investments. If she is gagged and her money held by the husband how can she achieve flexibility of investment and prosper in her business? If she is truly virtuous, she would be open to the husband and not closed and operating in secrecy. She would follow the example of the husband who is very open about his earnings. Proverbs 31.10-30 (ESV) “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. (11) The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (13) She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. (14) She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. (15) She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. (16) She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (17) She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. (18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. (19) She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. (20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. (21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. (22) She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. (23) Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. (24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. (25) Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. (26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: (29) "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." (30) Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

SEXUAL RESPONSIBILITY

This area of a man's responsibility is often the hardest to fulfill with any appreciable degree of success. Most homes do not achieve the abundant life in this department. The strongest man in the Bible (Samson) fell to sexual sins. The strongest man in the O.T. "spiritually" (David?) fell to sexual sins. Presidents around the world have tarnished their images by involving in extra-marital sexual sins. The Christian husband if he thinks he is invulnerable to sexual sins is living in a dream world. What is man's responsibility to his wife sexually? Consider some passages that help to put a proper perspective on it. 1 Corinthian 7.3-5 (ESV)“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. (4) For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (5) Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

A. This mutual submission of each other's bodies is to help curb evil sexual desires. Many forces that are marshalled against the home and Christian men and women can be neutralized by a fulfilling sexual experience. Paul proves it so by commanding that couples should not deprive each other of their bodies except by mutual agreement coupled with prayers.

The fact that mutual submission of bodies is commanded in marriage indicates that there should be no shame, embarrassment, disgrace, indignity, awkwardness, guilt or timidity in accessing each other's bodies. The way God made the bodies of both man and woman is the cause of joy and excitement. Imagine Adam's cry of joy in seeing his wife (without clothes!). The sexual act then according to the New Testament is to include sexual exploration of each other's body to ascertain what really pleases the other. The attitude underlying this situation is that of excitement, curiosity, openness, honesty and purity.

What should a man do if the wife does not obey the injunction of this command? She may claim tiredness, headaches or sickness at nights, or may just lie there to take whatever the husband does to her without participating etc. If a man has H.I.V., should he insist that his wife should not withhold her body from him, claiming the right given by 1 Corinthians 7.4, 5?

Consider these admonitions given in the Bible to husbands: Paraphrased, they sound like:

1. Husband, cleave to your wife: and the two shall be one flesh (Matthew 19:4).

2. Husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).

3. Husband, do not be harsh with your wife (Colossians 3:19).

4. Husband, render to your wife due benevolence (1 Corinthians 7:3).

5. Husband, dwell with your wife according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7).

These passages help husbands to know how to dwell with their wives in knowledge. They find fulfillment in their role as husbands and they study to be good husbands, setting time aside for the relationship with their wives, learning about good communication and how to be loving. We can conclude this section by considering the advice of Moffett James that husbands can become better lovers of our wives:

1. By thinking of her constantly,

2. By wanting her as a "friend,"

3. By wanting to please her,

4. By wanting to give her gifts,

5. By accepting her relatives and her friends,

6. By putting his trust in her,

7. By talking to her about his successes and his failures,

8. By being concerned about his appearance and his actions,

9. By involving her in his present plans,

10. By including her in his future plans.

These simple suggestions reveal loud and clear that your wife is, "The One

in your life." What greater honor can (a wife) have than this?[4]

CONCLUSION

To you husbands, know that a good man is a good husband, and good men have access to God. Good husbands make good homes and good churches. Husbands, look to God and the Word of God in order to make your home a safe haven and a godly environment to perpetuate godly families.

---

[1] “In What Sense Is Man the Head of Woman?” by Wayne Jackson Christian Courier: Tuesday, March 28, 2006

[2] Moffett, James “Dwell With Your Wives According to Knowledge: An Analysis of 1 Peter 3:7” in Your Marriage Can Be Great.Ed., Thomas Warren, Tennessee, National Christian Press, 176-179.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Moffett, James “Dwell With Your Wives According to Knowledge: An Analysis of 1 Peter 3:7” in Your Marriage Can Be Great.Ed., Thomas Warren, Tennessee, National Christian Press, 176-179.

SPEAKING IN TONGUES AS A MYSTERY UNTO GOD

SPEAKING IN TONGUES AS A MYSTERY UNTO GOD

BY Abiodun Adegoroye

Text: 1 Corinthians 14.2 “For he who speaks in another language speaks not to men, but to God; for no one understands; but in the Spirit he speaks mysteries”

INTRODUCTION

The challenge facing us in this discussion is a hermeneutical one. The issue of the meaning of a biblical text has been a subject of serious hermeneutical concern through out the Christian age. Hermes in ancient Greek mythology was the interpreter of the gods. He is the messenger that the gods use to convey meaning and carry out their orders. Hermeneutics is then the science of interpretation. If the meaning of Paul’s discourse in 1 Corinthians 14.2 is found, it is because proper and accurate hermeneutics has been done. How can we accurately find meaning of biblical text especially the text before us?

1. For so many, meaning is settled when their ‘pastor’ or ‘head’ speaks. This is as a result of the view that the man is a spokesman for God and cannot make mistakes as an oracle of Almighty God. Take for instance, Pastor Chris Oyakhiome’s ‘Refuse to be sick’[1] philosophy that has made many to believe that because God’s Spirit dwells in a Christian, sickness, disease, infirmity should not find place in their physical bodies. Using Romans 8.11, he convinced many of his listeners to stop believing in physical pains and sicknesses in their bodies because believing these is to believe a ‘lying vanity’ and to incur God’s displeasure. He said Leviticus 17.11 that proves that the life of humans is in the blood does not apply to a born-again individual. Some misguided by this meaning of the biblical texts used by Oyakhilome have lost their physical lives and the lives of those dear to them as they refuse treatment for physical infirmities.

2. There are others who believe that meaning of a text reside in the English translation they use. The issue of the limitation of the English translations (and others too) is too wide to discuss here but suffice it to say that many religious practices sprung up in the wake of wrong translations. (infant baptism et al.)

3. The problem of eisegesis must not be overlooked. Sometimes people hold very strong opinions about certain viewpoints and thus will search the Bible to defend or prove these types of opinions. For example, some in attempt to justify the exorbitant bride-price practised by family and friends have twisted the account in Genesis 2 .21-23 to prove that Adam indeed paid a costly bride-price to get Eve! This is termed eisegesis –“reading one’s own, completely foreign, ideas into a text and thereby make God’s word something other than what God really said.”[2]

There are many other problems that push people and churches to wrong meaning of a biblical text including ignorance of the word of God, party spirit, and the desire to maintain a practice, passion or property[3]. Probably the major question that should help this presentation to move toward the desired direction should be “how is the correct meaning of a biblical text ascertained?”

BODY.

1. Tools needed for a proper hermeneutics (biblical interpretation) include: Good bibles and a knowledge of the limitations of English translations; Background information; An inquisitive and objective mind; A holistic appreciation of scripture; Understanding the divisions that God has ordained to guide the understanding of His word (2 Tim. 2.15); and contextual considerations. Eric Lyons summarizes the solution to the problem of meaning with a suggestion that:

It often has been said, “The Bible is its own best commentary.” When we read something that we do not understand in one section of the Bible, frequently other passages in the Scriptures will “interpret” the “unclear” sections for us. Someone questioning the identity of the “seed” of Abraham who would be a blessing to all nations (Genesis 22:18; cf. 26:4) can read Galatians 3:16 and learn that the “seed” mentioned in Genesis is Christ. If a person wanted to know what the water baptism Jesus and the apostles commanded involved, he could study Romans 6:4, Colossians 2:12, and Acts 8:38, and come to the correct conclusion that New Testament water baptism is a burial in water, and not the mere sprinkling of water on a person. Instead of approaching the Scriptures with the mindset of, “What do I think about…,” or “What do you think about…,” we first need to ask ourselves, “What does the Bible say about itself?” If there is one section of the Scriptures that we do not understand fully, we always should examine other passages in the Bible that deal with the same subject first.[4]

2. Steps in Exegesis. The suggested steps to biblical interpretation called exegesis include a contextual approach. The major questions guiding the study include:

a. What does the text say?

b. What is the circumstance surrounding the text –the issue of who is speaking, to whom and on what occasion and for what purpose?

c. Are there other biblical passages that throw more light on the meaning of the text?

d. What is the total context and the conclusion? –adding all the data together and reasoning correctly about the data.

3. Background to 1 Corinthians 14 The church at Corinth had problems and Paul wrote them to help them correct these. One of the problems included the abuse of the use of spiritual gifts had by members of the church. Chapters 11-14 address these abuse issues.

The key to understanding 1 Corinthian 14:2 may be verse 22 “1 Co 14:22 “Wherefore tongues are for a sign, not to them that believe, but to them that believe not: but prophesying serveth not for them that believe not, but for them which believe.”(KJV)

Speaking in tongues (an ability to speak a message from God in a language the messenger does not know and did not learn) is a sign. A sign is a mark of the authenticity of the messenger. It is designed to elicit wonder, awe, and reverence for the giver of the message, and also respect for the message (Acts 2:7, 8, 12). It is a device to catch people’s attention and divert it to the message of salvation. Right from the beginning of Christianity this has been the use of the gift of ‘tongues.’ In the Acts 2 narrative, the first recorded account of the phenomenon, the multitude gathered were surprised and awed at the fact that men who were known to be Galileans were able to speak the different languages of the multicultural addressees. Although some of the listeners tried to pass this divinely engineered event off as a drunken imitation of their native languages, the miracles was soon verified as being too good and too awesome to be dismissed as a mere rambling of drunken men. Apostle Peter, debunking the ignorant suggestion, proved that the apostles were indeed specially selected to deliver a soul-saving message with the attending attention getting and awe-inspiring sign. Note that the messenger is not as important as the message he bears. God used men without high credentials –fishermen et al., to make the import of the message more glorious (2 Cor. 4:7). In the Old Testament God used even a brute donkey to illustrate this principle –the donkey spoke human language – a feat which it would never have been able to do being an animal (Num. 22:28-30).

Context Considerations Paul addressed the issue of the use of spiritual gifts from chapters 11-14. He laid a foundation that all the gifts are from God through the Holy Spirit and are therefore not to be regarded as making the gifted individual superior to others. He used the physical human body to illustrate and prove that those regarding one gift as being better than another missed the point and are thinking carnally (12:27-31). God arranged the differences to suit His will and they are complimentary not competitive. Paul counselled love as the greatest gift of all –it is available to all Christians and will outlast all the temporary miraculous spiritual gifts (13:8-10). After this Paul focussed on a specific gift that was ostentatious and grossly abused –the ability to prophesy in a language that is foreign to the prophet or messenger popularly referred to as ‘speaking in tongues.’ The difference between regular prophesying and ‘speaking in tongues,’ is the language of the revelation. Prophecy is speaking forth a message from God by inspiration in a language believers understand, while ‘tongues’ is also an inspired prophetic utterance used before non -Christians in a language unknown to the speaker but understood by the recipients producing marvel and awe in the listeners and to give credential to the speaker as a herald of the King of Kings (Acts 2:6-12; 1 Corinthians 14:22; Hebrew 2:4). The Corinthians with this gift were using it indiscriminately and were ignoring the purpose for which miraculous spiritual gifts were to be used in worship: namely edification (14:12, 19, and 26). The gift of prophecy naturally was used in worship as the New Testament was not written and the church needed instructions from God directly. Those with this gift edify the church because they use a language everyone understands. This is the reason why the gift of prophecy is to be desired over ‘tongues’ and over other revelatory gifts (14:1). In 1 Corinthians 14:2 Paul now said that if one is revealing a message in a language foreign to the hearers, he is not communicating the gospel or the saving message but mysteries. The word mystery refers to the ‘secrets’ of God or the unrevealed gospel which He did not reveal in earlier times but gave men gifts to fully reveal in the Christian dispensation. A clear text to support this view is Matt. 13:11. “And he answered and said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.” Note that ‘mystery’ has to do with the things concerning the kingdom of heaven. In Ephesians 3:1-11, the meaning is also an attestation of this meaning. Note verse 9 of this text indicates that God’s intention is that the once-hidden-truth of the kingdom of heaven (mystery) be revealed so that all may know and become partakers of the fellowship with God. The word ‘mystery’ (musthvrion, musterion –Greek) has been used twenty seven times in the New Testament and has the primary meaning of something hidden. Paul in many texts however assured Christians that what was hidden has now been revealed and no one should be in ignorance concern the ‘mystery.’ Consider 1 Cor. 2.7-10 “But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory: Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.” KJV.

This text said that ‘God hath revealed them unto us...” In Ephesians 3: 3-5, 9 Paul again asserts the same truth: “How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote afore in few words, Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ) Which in other ages was not made known unto the sons of men, as it is now revealed unto his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit.... And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ:” (KJV)

The words Paul used give room for no mistake: “He made known unto me” “to make all men see” “ye may understand” “it is now revealed” etc. The central truth is that God’s ‘musterion’ has been revealed in the first century church because God wants all men to have fellowship of the ‘musterion.’

Conclusion. 1 Corinthians 14.2 “For he who speaks in another language speaks not to men, but to God; for no one understands; but in the Spirit he speaks mysteries.” (MSG) Paul in this text said the man who ‘utters’ a message from God when no one understands him is not revealing the ‘mystery’ that God gave him a gift for but is uttering mysteries still as no one understands. God the giver of the message is the only one who understands. The Corinthian brethren were to see the utter foolishness of situation where one is prophesying in a foreign language but nothing is gained by the proclamation. Later in the chapter Paul said, “I’ll rather utter five words that I understand so I can teach others than ten thousand words in a foreign language that no one understands. He qualifies the situation with several arguments showing the vanity of the practise:

· The trumpeter blowing uncertain sounds does not communicate.

· One speaking a foreign language without interpretation is speaking into the air –an expression to mean ‘he is uttering senseless words’

· An unbelieving visitor to worship cannot say ‘Amen’ to prayers offered in a foreign tongue

· Visitors will mock when believers speak as barbarians, and they will say that the gifted believers are insane or mad.

After showing the ridiculous nature of using the gift that way, Paul now gave instructions about the proper use of the gift of speaking foreign languages:

a. All should reveal (prophesy) to edify –(vs 1, 3, 31)

b. All foreign language (unknown tongue) messengers must speak their message one –by –one, not together or simultaneously, and should interpret, or be silent (vs 27, 28)

c. Prophets should be in control of their spirits and the utterances of their messages.

d. All gifted people should acknowledge that Paul’s instructions are the commandment of the Lord.

In conclusion, does this passage permit the interpretation and practice we observe in many Pentecostal circles?...Of people walking around in worship uttering emotional ‘nothings’ (jargons) fuelled by deep ignorance and misinterpretations? The answer is obvious for several reasons:

a. Biblical ‘tongue speaking’ is a prophetic utterance, a message from the Holy Spirit to man concerning things of the Kingdom of Heaven in a human language. The so-called ‘speaking in tongues’ of modern ‘spiritual’ churches are foolish ramblings of deceived men/women who do not know the truth about their actions.

b. To purport to speak for God when the Holy Spirit did not reveal anything to the person is a gross act of disobedience and to insult the Spirit of the Almighty God. It is also an act of unbelief and utter disregard for the things of God! It is saying “God said” when he did not speak! Jeremiah in his days spoke concerning those who fell into similar deception:

“Behold, I am against the prophets, saith the LORD, that use their tongues, and say, He saith. Behold, I am against them that prophesy lying dreams, saith the LORD, and do tell them, and cause my people to err by their lies, and by their vain boasting: yet I sent them not, nor commanded them; neither shall they profit this people at all, saith the LORD” (Jer. 23: 31, 32 RV)

c. To speak ‘mysteries’ today when the Holy Spirit has already said it was pointless and not to be done in the assemblies of the saints (1 Cor. 14:27, 28) is to manifest a spirit contrary to the spirit of Christ and to join the rank and file of deceivers whose destiny is the fire that burns eternally. Let us respect God and His words!

Peter’s description of this situation should suffice for those caught in this ‘prison’: “But there arose false prophets also among the people, as among you also there shall be false teachers, who shall privily bring in destructive heresies, denying even the Master that bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many shall follow their lascivious doings; by reason of whom the way of the truth shall be evil spoken of....”

Bibliography

[1] “REFUSE TO BE SICK” from Rhapsody of Realities May 2008 by Chris and Anita Oyakhilome.

[2] Gordon Fee & Douglas Stuart’s How to Read the Bible for All its Worth.2nd Ed., Zondervan, 1993. Page 20.

[3] Principles and Practice of Hermeneutics: A Concise Study for Evangelists and Church Leaders by Abiodun Adegoroye, presented during the Lagos State Preachers/Leaders meeting July 2009.

[4] Eric Lyons, “The Bible Explains Itself” in http://www.apologeticspress.org/articles/1753.